Week 2: Champagnegate

Oh lord, where to even begin? I guess let’s pick up with where we left off with the Hannah B. “cliffhanger”. Hannah and Peter just sat together for like FOREVER saying “I don’t know what to do”, and then Peter was like “duh, I’m the Bachelor” and he got on with it. However, the girls on that date were straight up pissed about the situation (especially Natasha). Peter cancelled the “Awkward” sex story date to collect himself and then met back up with the girls at the after party. He had to do some damage control, but in the end all was fine. As predicted. 

Next up was a cocktail party and rose ceremony because of course we can’t have these at the end of an episode anymore, they have to be somewhere in the middle. But outside of Champagnegate (which I’ll address separately) nothing major happened here. The girls who went home were not surprising. They had not had a lot of screen time or time with Peter, hence the early round cuts.

Okay, now for the meat of the episode:

Champagnegate

Here's the gist. Kelsey from Des Moines (I swear she doesn't represent all of us!) got a bottle of champaign for her birthday and brought it with her to the show to share a special moment with Peter. She set up the champaign and a couple of flutes by the fire place and was waiting for her moment. She tried to steal him away but MyKenna took him aside first which triggered Kelsey's first mental breakdown. She confronted MyKenna which I thought was really weird, honestly anyone can grab him at any time. She wasn't trying to "steal your moment". So while she's waiting for her next opportunity, Kelsey hears the cork pop on a champaign bottle and sees that Hannah Ann had opened HER bottle with Peter. 

Peter eventually tried to smooth things over with Kelsey with a new bottle of champagne. Unfortunately, for her but not for us, the bottle had been shaken up and when she tried to drink from it, it shot foam in her face. Solidly one of the best things I've seen on TV, maybe ever. If you didn't see it, watch it now. It's hilarious. (I do actually feel bad for Kelsey, that had to suck)

So, I don't think Hannah Ann is totally innocent in anything here. She's got the facial expressions of a serial killer. But I don't think she meant to open that bottle of champagne. It was clear that there was another set up with champaign and she and Peter just missed their intended mark. But Kelsey, lost her damn mind and she's not going to get over it. This will go on, and on, and on.  Which it kind of did in the group date when she would not stop bringing it up.

Victoria F.

Speaking of the group date. The girls had to put on a fashion show with outfits they picked out from the Revolve collection. The girl who put together the best looks and performed the best on the runway would win a new wardrobe of Revolve clothing. Does everyone know this Revolve brand? I mean it's cute, whatever, but all the girls freaked the eff out over this opportunity to win clothes and went on an on about what a perfect date this was. But Victoria was not so excited. She was super upset about having to try to stand out because in her own opinion she has like no personality. 

However, she miraculously pulled it out on the runway and got second place. For two seconds before she lost to Hannah Ann (a professional model by the way), she was excited and then she was crying AGAIN and wanting to leave. Oy. I actually think she's like a normal person and that's why it's hard for her. But yikes!

Bullying

In the evening portion of this group date Kelsey got to have her "moment" with Peter. But guess what? Hannah Ann is not letting go either! She felt the need to tell Peter that she had felt attacked and bullied by Kelsey (frankly, Kelsey did kind of attack her) and that she had been up all night crying. Peter, was not going to stand for that. So after he gave out the date rose (to Victoria F. to help her calm the eff down), he took Kelsey aside to address the issue. And she came back swinging! So, now Peter doesn't know what to think. Is Hannah Ann manipulative and just trying to get Kelsey out? (probably) But chances are they both make it for a little while so we can hold on to Champagnegate throughout the season.

We got only one small nugget of a clip with Madison when Peter gave her a framed photo of him and his family from their date (she better hide that, or someone might kill her with it - bitches be crazy)! But didn't see too much of the other girls I'd consider "serious" this week. Although, I think Victoria F. could hang in there... we'll see. 

More drama to come of course. The preview of the season was A. LOT. So many people dropping love bombs (people who I would not have expected to make it super far – like crazy Kelsey – so they either drop it real early or make it surprisingly far) and so much sex! Sex is obviously something that happens on this show and each year it seems like it’s talked about a little more but holy cow this season is sex packed!

Until next week...